Keswick Lad

As a press photographer I get to travel a lot and I spend a lot of time in hotels – some good, some not so good.

On Friday I travelled down to Cardiff to see a Paul McCartney concert.  The former Beatles legend was playing at the Millennium Stadium on Saturday night.  I stayed in the Village Hotel on the outskirts of the City.  It is a modern hotel with its own leisure club and it looked very impressive on the internet.

As I walked into my bedroom I was met by the hotel magazine which was on the bed and already opened to show the Friday special offer – ‘Burger Me !’ which was ‘burger and chips in The Victory pub from 5pm to close for only £2′. It sounded too good to be true.

It was a beautiful summers evening and so I decided to walk down into the nearby village.  I had a few drinks and wandered back into the hotel just after 10pm.  By now I was feeling a little peckish – I remembered the ‘special offer’.

As I walked into The Victory pub I noticed the staff were all wearing their ‘Burger Me’ T-shirts.  I ordered a pint and asked for the burger offer.  “Sorry Sir, the offer is finished – we stop serving food at 9.30pm” said the lady behind the bar slightly apologetically.  I said: “The offer said close – is the bar shut ?”  She apologised again and said there was nothing she could do.

So I took my pint and retreated to my room – next stop room service.  I phoned down and asked what food was available.  “Sorry Sir, we are closed.  I might be able to get you a sandwich or I can bring you a take-away menu” said the very helpful night-porter.

I went for the sandwich.  Five minutes later the night-porter bought me two packs of motorway service station style sandwiches for the very reasonable price of £5.  He assured me he would pass my comments on to the duty manager and they would contact me in the morning.

Next morning I was woken by the maid trying to clean my room before 9am – my fault for not putting out the sign.  But I did lock the door and put the chain on !

The rest of the day was fantastic with Macca producing a world-class concert.

I got back to find the maid had removed most of the towels from the room and forgot to replace them.

Sunday morning I popped down for breakfast all ready for a quick drive north in time to see the England match.  I walked through reception and was stopped in my tracks by the queue for breakfast.  Now breakfast is self-service in this hotel, everything is ready and waiting.  All the staff have to do is clear up, reset the tables and give out tea or coffee.  There were at least six staff on duty but I queued for at least 20 minutes for a table.  At least six tables were empty but the staff were not clearing them.

I finally made it into breakfast.  I ordered my tea and collected some orange juice.  The tea arrived and I filled my mug.  Then I was off to collect my full English.  As I tucked into a fine breakfast I went to pick up my tea and noticed it was gone.  The staff had cleared away my breakfast mid meal !

I asked a waitress where my tea was ?  She then looked at me as if I was completely stupid and then wandered off returning with a new pot of tea and a mug.  No apology,  juice or milk.  I asked again for milk.  This came a few minutes later still without any apology.

I realised it was now time to return to England.  I checked out and mentioned a few problem but the receptionist just gave me the manager’s business card.  I think it was clearly time for me to Burger Off back home to Nottingham !

To make matters even worse it appears that  I was overcharged by £10 on my bill.  The manager is now ‘investigating’ and will get back to me – I hope he is a little more efficient than his staff.  Expect an update in a few weeks !

Update:

28th June 2010, 9.48am – The hotel manager emailed me to tell me he was ‘investigating’ my comments and he would get back to me.

30th June 2010, 10am – I am still waiting for his response…….

1st July 2010 – I have a reply from the Manager.  I should not have read the magazine that was left on my bed and opened on the page showing the offer or the T-shirts worn by the bar staff – I should have read the flyer he has now sent me.  The housekeeper will now provide ‘corrective action’ for the towel problem.  The delay at breakfast was all caused by Paul McCartney – too many guests were staying in the hotel.  There was no error on my bill despite my booking receipt and final bill differing by £10.

It is a good job I have always been a fan of Basil Fawlty !

8th July 2010 - Another letter has arrived from the Manager.  My booking receipt is wrong – the staff made a mistake and charged me £10 less than the receipt stated.  It was ‘human error’.

They were making mistakes before I arrived !

As a press photographer in Nottingham I get to meet many wonderful people. Recently the Daily Mail Weekend magazine gave me a three-part feature for their ‘dating’ page.   I was to tag along with the same couple on three different dates to illustrate an article on blind dates.

I turned up for the first date full of good intentions and determined to do my best ‘Cilla Black’ match making.  We all met at a Salsa Class in the upstairs room of a very dark pub on a cold, wet Friday night – not the best of starts.  Eric is a 40-year-old building surveyor from Derby and his date was Lisa a 41-year-old who works in finance from Nottingham.  Because of the poor lighting I had to be a little more obvious than I had hoped but things went quite well.  Lisa & Eric seemed to get along OK despite me being a bit of a pain and, most importantly, I had my pictures.

Date two was a trip to the new Nottingham Contemporary Art Gallery.  We all met up and were taken on a guided tour.  Things were slightly better this time and Eric was even cracking a few jokes at my expense.

Then we came to date three, Newstead Abbey, the former home of the legendary lover Lord Byron.  I arrived early on the beautiful Sunday morning and proceeded to our meeting point in the Abbey cafe.  I met up with the guide before the happy couple arrived and I suggested I take my pictures and then leave the couple to their romantic stroll around the Abbey – that was agreed.

Eric & Lisa appeared as arranged and after a walk around the grounds to take the pictures we wandered back into the cafe to rejoin the guide.  I was making my excuses and thanking everyone for their trouble when Lisa suggested I join them on their guided tour.  The guide joined in by saying we could walk together and leave the ‘lovers’ on their own.  What do I do now ?  Do I upset them by refusing their offer or go along as ‘the gooseberry’ ?

I have never had the chance to look around the inside of Newstead Abbey, so I decided to go along.  This did not go down too well with Eric but I had now said I would go – I was stuck.

Eric was not happy, but I kept out-of-the-way and did not take any pictures to ruin the moment, as we had agreed.

I kept my distance and never said a word, as soon as the tour finished it was a quick thank you, goodbye and I was off……

A few week later the article appeared and I discovered the headline ‘Lisa asked the photographer to join us, like she needed a chaperone’.

Sorry Eric, I did not mean to ruin your date – so it looks like I will not be replacing Cilla Black after all !

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